The West
Barns Fower.
Yin Thursday night way back in May,
The Scottish Bowling Championships had just got under
way,
And as our rink was really packed wie power,
We hoped we’d make it tae Queens Park,
The West Barns Fower.
Ian, Johnny, Bobby and of course ma’sel,
The critics thou’ct we widnae hae a snaw’ba’s chance
in hell,
But theres just nae wye ye can ever tell,
What can happen if the fower o’ye are aw playing
kindae well.
Oor first roond opponents Prestongrange were at
Queens Park jist last year,
But for the likes o’them we just simply held nae
fear,
In fact as we said on the road tae Macmerry for the
match,
If they’re there this year, they’ll jist be gawn
through there tae watch.
Eight, Eight, the score wie twelve ends done,
The next end sae crucial tyae be won,
The taerteenth played then the score wisnae jist sae
even,
For we stuffed them good and proper when we tane off
them a seeven.
We held oor advantage frae then on and so,
We feeneshed ten up wie yin end left tae go,
For them the long hard trail wis ower,
But we were on the road, The West Barns Fower.
Longniddry were the next opponents oot tae try their
luck,
And try awfy hard they did, as they were really foo
o’pluck,
Eight nithin doon we fund oorselves that night,
But we battled on and won, although we really had tae
fight.
Elphinstone in the semi-finals up tae gifford game,
Tae say the very least for them it really wis a
shame,
We never gie’d them any chance tae get right in tae
the game,
Tae tell the honest truth, they’d been better styed
at hame.
In tae the distric finals then, the feelin wis sae
braw,
Doogie and ma faither through, an Dennis Jeffrey
there an aw,
But alas when aw the district finals games were ower,
There wis naebody left, except of course,
The West Barns Fower.
Pa’er Dennis wis the first tae bite the dust,
The pairs were weel up and tae get through looked
jist like a must,
But suddenly disaster struck and they lost five shots
aw at yince,
So they got beat and they’ve blamed each other ever
bloody since.
Fower Scottish rinks we now had beat, wie the
greatest o’ committal,
If that wisnae enough we even had tae play a bunch o’
English sassannch’s frae Spittal,
But like aw the Scottish rinks we’d beat, we sin
learnt them how it feels,
For we gave them sich a bloody whappin’ through at
Glalshiels.
Yie aw played weel, The praise then came frae mony
different lips,
And now we were gye prood winners o’ the
inter-district championships,
But still we werny feeneshed yet we now had tae set
oor sights,
Away through tae Glesgy at Queens Park, where we’d
playing, in the whites.
Now brother Ernie maybe thinks his triples no had a
mention,
But to tell the honest truth they were jist never in
contention,
At Gullane or North Berwick it wis they came a
cropper,
Whapped oot in a prelim, never even made the first
roond proper.
Jock Kennedy fae East Linton went, tae play in the
senior singles,
Tae see the way he played yon night, ye’d thocht he
had the shingles,
Supporters stood and scratched their heid’s and said
oh deerie me,
When his opponent wis sittin’ on twenty yin pare Jock
had only three.
Nae West Barns team at Queens Park had the first
roond ever won,
But we were aw determined that this year it wid be
done,
Aboot yin o’clock the third o’ August and we’d
started wie a flyer,
At that time history was made, for we’d jist beat
Guilshall frae Stirlingshire.
A Whitevale rink frae Glesgy wis the next we had tae
face,
A guid advantage tae them as they kent aw the greens
aboot the place,
But still they coud’nae beat us and the only
consolation left for thame,
Wis that they had’nae awfy far tae gawn, when we sent
them traiveling hame.
Rothesayin the semi-finals we scored a braw fower at
the start,
And tais is true, each time their skip picked up his
bool, he kept lettin off a fart,
A five we scored the second end, we were playing even
better,
As for yon pa’er skip o’theirs, his farts were
getting wetter.
A few ends later the Rothesay wis fifteen nithin’
doon,
Yon skips white trousers at the back were starting
tae turn broon,
Twa ends tae gawn 27-6, he made a dash for the
nearest urinal,
He roars I think I’ve shit ma’sel, aw the best tae
yis in the final.
An aw Lothians final then it wis, tae see wha’d be
Scotlands best,
West Barns fighting for the East, Winchburgh for the
West,
Weel as yis ken by noo, it wis thame no us that done
it,
But nae’body kens better than oorselves, we’re the
fower that should’ae won it.
Aw the wimmen
through wie us were standing quietly greetin’,
For it wis jist by twa damn shots the fower o’ us
were beaten,
But still as we stood there firmly shakin’ oor
opponents hands,We kent least
we’d take a wee bit honour back hame wie us tae West
Barns.
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